PDS

I have PDS (pigment dispersion syndrome)
My eyes got darker over time.
I could have gone blind.
Thanks PDS.

Black spots appeared.
It happened all at once.
I couldn’t see.
Mostly.

I went to the ophthalmologist
Pretty much the next day.
They told me I’ll go blind

My stomach became a pit.
I looked at my eyes again
That hurt the worst.
They made me…
me
They were mine.

Drops dulled the ache.
My eyes made more pigment.
I lost my green.

Today they’re like olives!
I see the light green
But the brown is now there.

I like pictures with the lighter green.
I had a girl tell me.
Please give me your eyes.
I want them to look only at me
But PDS took them away.

I really miss them.
She saw me.
I could feel her disgust.
I really miss her.

I lied.
I wish I hadn’t but...
Without them
Am I me?

If I had known
just a moment sooner
Would I still be me?

She was my girl.

It got all messed up
Fuck these damn eyes.

It wasn’t them was it?
It was really just my
own foolish pride.

I miss her.
I was excited.
We were obsessed
But only for days

Because of my damn eyes.
She’ll never be mine.
At least I can see.
I guess they’re now just for…

me.